Huddlesfield, UK Excitement is growing in this northern England town following news that a local man saw an image of the Big Bang in a piece of toast. Thirty-six year old atheist Donald Chapman was sitting down for breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.
"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," Chapman told local newspaper The Huddlesfield Express. "However the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs, as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole, were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big Bang. It's the beginning of the world!" he added excitedly.
Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms Hotel.
To the surprise of many, the U.K. Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway, noting that "seeing is not believing."
"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," Chapman told local newspaper The Huddlesfield Express. "However the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs, as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole, were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big Bang. It's the beginning of the world!" he added excitedly.
Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms Hotel.
To the surprise of many, the U.K. Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway, noting that "seeing is not believing."
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I post nothing until Mackenzie returns from the writer's strike.
I also have $150 worth of seafood to locate an purchase in the next two days for the Luncheon Meat Family Boil.
In the interest of full disclosure, it should be known that Mackenzie is playing hurt. Actually he's on the DL. Not the Dirty Laundry, but the disabled list.
Turns out after turning down a dinner invite from me (where I offered to buy, this was the same week the Giants won the Super Bowl, so hell officially froze over), he was forced to move snow from a driveway and suffered a broken arm. After finding out how many pain pills he got, I wished him well and a full and speedy recovery.
He promises a post titled, "Never Turn Down Dinner From DL. EVER."
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