Tuesday, November 07, 2006

What if I were to tell you that I had a package deal with Dennis Rodman and Vern Troyer? Is that something you might be interested in?

Dennis Rodman will star as the coach of a dwarf hoops squad in "The Minis," with Vern Troyer as one of his players. "Me and Mini-Me," Rodman says. "It'll be wild." Cameras roll in 2007.
--ESPN Magazine

A Dirty Laundry Imagined Conversation

Int -- Hollywood Studio Bungalow

Producer: Alan, congrats on the new gig!

Studio Chief: Thanks Murray. Sit down, sit down. It's 2:30, care for a cocktail?

Producer: No, I'm fine.

Studio Chief: OK, well, I might have a short one...what do you got for me today?

Producer: Big Picture: Think "Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" with the Ooompa-Loompas from "Willy Wonka."

Studio Chief: Uh-huh, OK...you want to do a line? No? I think I may just do a line or two, it's been a long week.

Producer: Remember "Blue Chips" with Nick Nolte? Well, what if instead of a drug-addled, slightly insane method actor as the head coach, you have a former actual NBA star? Granted, it's a former NBA star with some borderline bipolar disorder. But we can get him cheap -- room, board and three bottles of Jagermeister cheap. Alan? Excuse me, what are you doing?

Studio Chief: Oh, I'm just shooting some heroin in-between my toes...go on, I'm listening? So you want us to greenlight a movie with Ruben Patterson?

Producer: Right. What? No. Dennis Rodman. As a head coach. Think "Eddie," but instead of the New York Knicks it's a team of dwarves. A team of dwarves who by the way--

Studio Chief: Could probably beat the Knicks? I get it. Ha-ha, very funny. You're reading too much Bill Simmons. Who else is in the cast? Can you help me with this bottle of Percocet?

Producer: Sure, sure...well, we got Mini-Me, Vern Troyer.

Studio Chief: Uh-huh, and he's what, the Two-Guard?

Producer: We really haven't drilled down that far into details...

Studio Chief: Billy Barty at Point? Peter Dinkalage in the Post?

Producer: I'm afraid Billy's dead and I don't think think this is Peter's kind of movie...

Studio Chief: What, the Station Agent's too good to be in a dwarf basketball movie...you see, that pisses me off.

Producer: You know, we were thinking no-name dwarves for the rest of the cast would be cheaper anyway. So what do you think, are we in bed together?

Studio Chief: (into intercom) Angie, has my shipment of ether come in yet? Murray, I've got to be honest with you. I'm so high right now I can see three of you, one of which is slowly melting in front of me, so I'm hoping that that one is not the real you. And next on my schedule is a meeting with the writers of "The Benchwarmers" so I'm not exactly Merchant-fucking-Ivory. But this idea sounds like pure unadulterated shit. Why don't you take it over to Tom Cruise's new studio...he likes anything with someone shorter than him in it.


9 comments:

BSmokedTurkey said...

Good, crisp writing.

Nice story arc.

Obscure reference in the title to make me feel witty for getting it.

Golf clap and a "nicely played" for Mackenzie.

Anonymous said...

Dude, you need a hobby and less time with Dirty Laundry.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://free2hosting.info/vacation-deals/index3.html] AK vacation deals[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello!
You may probably be very curious to know how one can manage to receive high yields on investments.
There is no need to invest much at first.
You may commense to get income with a money that usually goes
on daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one project for several years,
and I'll be glad to let you know my secrets at my blog.

Please visit blog and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I earn 1000-2000 per daily now.

http://theblogmoney.com

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of troubles when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
Nowadays, I feel good, I begin to get real money.
It gets down to choose a correct companion who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the profit with me.

You may get interested, if there are such firms? I have to tell the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
[url=http://theblogmoney.com] Online investment blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hello!
You may probably be very curious to know how one can make real money on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin to get income with a money that usually goes
on daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one project for several years,
and I'll be glad to share my secrets at my blog.

Please visit blog and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per day now.

http://theinvestblog.com [url=http://theinvestblog.com]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Good day!

Sure, you’ve heard about me, because my fame is running in front of me,
my name is Peter.
Generally I’m a venturesome analyst. for a long time I’m keen on online-casino and poker.
Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.
Probably, it will be interesting for you to find out about my progress.
Please visit my diary. http://allbestcasino.com I’ll be interested on your opinion..

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting of [b]Female use of Viagra[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Female use of Viagra[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.wilantion.ru]Viagra 100mg pills[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]Viagra Spain
the side effects of viagra
Buy Canada Viagra
buy diet viagra online
viagra usage women
Viagra Market
Discount Viagra Drug
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting how to [b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Buy Viagra per pill[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/viagra%2C%20tramadol%2C%20zithromax%2C%20carisoprodol%2C%20buy%20cialis/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.deutafilm.ru]buy generic viagra online in canada[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]viagra logo
Natural Alternative Viagra
Viagra Efecte Secundare
100mg pills price viagra
Viagra In Bangkok
cia viagra afghanistan
Viagra In Doha
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.