Sunday, November 05, 2006

Damon (not Johnny) is A Gifted Actor; So Is Bill Callahan

(This post was written much more effectively before blogger decided to do an update for 45 minutes, and the entire post was lost in the process. The re-write isn't nearly as good. My mother did the best she could, sorry.)

First off, this should surprise absolutely nobody anywhere. What, the guy was everywhere but Sesame Street and people in La-La Land are surprised that it was the #1 movie in America? Come on, was there anyone in the world who didn't know this guy had a movie debuting this weekend? I'm just surprised ESPN wasn't behind promoting it, this guy was literally EVERYWHERE. I still say maybe only 10 per cent of the population understands the whole thing though.

And my wasn't it great to get a non-Husker related post, and of all things it was about Matt Damon. Look, I'm fond of the guy's acting skills, he's a major talent and I'm glad he's chosen most of the pictures he's been in so far with his little movie career. He's underapreciated in both Ocean's Eleven and Ocean's Twelve. I'm just proud of the guy for surviving the ridicule he took in Team America, but then again, everybody got hit hard in that thing.

So back to Billy C and the state of the Corn. I got a bunch of email's saying "They're 7-3, what else did you expect?" Oh I don't know. 8-2 maybe, hell 9-1 was legitimate if you consider that they almost beat Texas at home, never mind the wheels coming off like they did at Okie State. I'm just wondering where I can sign up to order my Big XII North Championship ring early. I'm sure the Omaha World Herald will have something on this anyday now. Oh, and they had to go out of their way to hyperbolize what a huge win it was yesterday for the Billy C era. "A signature win" battered World Herald Columnist Tom Shatel said, "Finally."

I'm not even going to bother to check, but I'm sure Shatel and company used the words "signature" and "win" when discussing the win at Boulder in 2005 against Colorado. The same thing said after that Alamo Bowl when they beat a decent Michigan team. Hell, for all I know, Shatel thought the October 16, 2004 win against Baylor in Lincoln was a "signature" win. All I know is that the way things are going, if the Corn beats Texas in Kansas City for the Big XII Championship, I fully expect Billy C to personally parade down O Street in Lincoln with that Big XII trophy for over a week in December.

(BTW, can we stop calling it the Big XII Conference? I mean, are we filming Rocky sequels here? Isn't everyone, Billy C included, OK with calling it the Big 12 Conference? I mean, this isn't the Super Bowl, is it? Can we lose the Roman Numerals? Good, Big 12 it is.)

(Oh, from the "This Just In" department, Neil Patrick Harris is Gay and Loving it. I think Mackenzie told me about this in 1991).

I'm not a broken record, but I've made it perfectly clear that I so want Billy C to succeed at Nebraska. He's fun to have around. He does and says thing that were unheard of during the Osborne era. Some weeks, he really pulls some fucked up shit. And now, our salesman has brought in some serious talent that Osborne and his great recruiters would have never have even talked to about come to a place called N-E-B-R-A-S-K-A. It's interesting to note that after this "Big 12 North or Bust" season, it's going to be time for Billy C to grow as an actor and prove he's not a one trick pony. In other words, he's got to go from master salesman/recruiter to decent head coach.

After the Big 12 Championship game, it's more than just recruiter for our boy. That's the time for Billy C to pull a Matt Damon and move up to the next level, and become Coach Bill Callahan. Damon's been hanging out with A-listers George Clooney and Brad Pitt in Italy after becoming boys with them following the "Oceans" movies. Perhaps Billy C should mention that he's had some conversations with Pete Carroll (and not just to thank him for not running up the score on him back in September). Drop the name "CHARLIE WEIS" a few times at some press conferences. From the Big 12 championship game on, it's the A-List level for Billy C and crew. The Corn are a top 10 program from then on out. It's a BCS game every year or bust. The Big 12 North is a given. The Big 12 North as a goal is for suckers like Dan McCarney. Hell, look in your rearview mirror Billy C, and you'll see that fat bastard Mark Mangino sprinting up right behind you. Mangino's obviously got more than just the Big 12 North in mind on his plate.

Let everybody know that you're a much bigger deal than Dave Wannstedt. Let McCarney and Mangino try to catch up to you. Firmly kick Kansas State and Colorado in the ass. It's time for you to become Matt Damon to their Ben Affleck. Get a seat next to Clooney and Pitt, Billy C. Go for that segment on 60 Minutes. Stop wanting to make movies like Reindeer Games and Bounce and go for that big Scorsese picture like The Departed. You can be big time. You told us that back in January, 2004, when you quickly wiped away the failure that was your last year in Oakland, promising some strange new way of life called the West Coast Offense. You sold us on incredible recruits (some of whom strangely enough have already left under bizarre circumstances). We want rent bad Affleck flicks anytime. Give us the Scorsese film, set a goal of a national title and see if you can't really coach some talent and not just recruit.

But if you brought J-Lo around Lincoln for a few months, we'd all be fine with that too.

(And if this blog wasn't everything you wanted it to be, remember, it had to be written twice with the blogspot maintenance schedules. Which of course led to two more vodkas.)

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