Justin R. Flynn, 37, Blair, Intimidation by phone call, Dismissed.
In the interest of full disclosure, I made a vow some time ago to not be the one to break the news to Flynn about the whole caller ID thing because explaining the whole process would have been the Lord's work. And by "Lord", I really mean "Someone who was willing to console a sobbing skinny bastard who refused to get over the idea that he wouldn't be able to call Tawnya Roberts at 3am anymore". I guess I just assumed he'd stumble on it in his own way. My bad.
And sometimes, these things just write themselves:
David A. Bloemer, 38, Blair, Overweight on axle or group of axles, $75 fine.
I know the question you're asking yourself and the answer is Yes. I'd like to have a shirt just like the guy on the right in that picture above.