Friday, October 26, 2007

Executive Game: Special Red Sox Fans Have Become What They've Hated Edition

First, from my old buddy Jason, because everyone's so nonplussed with Husker Football these days: "Don't know if you heard... I'm flying to Lincoln this afternoon to interview with Tom Osborne for the head coaching job of the Huskers. I fall into the major categories for Callahan's replacement. 1. Nebraska born 2. NU Alum 3. Worked in the Athletic Department. 4. Played H.S. football 5. Prior coaching experience - Nehawka Legion Baseball head coach 2yrs. 5. I know TO and Frank Solich. 6. I don't run the West Coast Offense. 7. I'm suggesting that you serve as Defensive Coordinator. My only disadvantage is that I drink and chew. T.O doesn't like that. And that I've never coached any level of football. I like my chances. I know that I will do an excellent job."

In other words, nobody can even muster up anything to be remotely funny about this season. But hey, at least the corn got the New York Times attention in a pretty decent article. More links:
And isn't it amazing what three short years can do. In 2004, the Red Sox were the ultimate feel-good story. We all still hated Ben Affleck, and now his quote is one of the best things about this year's World Series: "I would rather say the line, ‘I worship you, Satan,' than say my favorite baseball team is the Yankees." Which is great because I think I've used that exact quote on Mackenzie and Ratt like 50 times in the past 15 years. It's like Sox fans have become what Husker fans were 10 years ago. They expect to win Championships every year, they think they're the greatest, friendliest fans in the world, and their teams are so loaded with depth and talent that bad breaks don't even faze them. I firmly believe that a Bill Buckner incident could happen at Denver this weekend (why not? Big Papi will be at first base) and nobody would sweat it. The Red Sox have almost become the Yankees, almost like the Huskers became Miami (especially in 1995, when with what may have been the greatest college football team ever, the Corn made more headlines with off-the field incidents and even led Jim Rome to nickname Tom Osborne "Brubaker" in reference to him running a prison ward instead of a football team). The failed two-point conversation from the 1984 Orange Bowl became a memory that no longer stung, almost like Sox fans don't cringe anymore when they hear the names Bucky Dent, Aaron Boone, and Buckner.

Red Sox Nation had better take a look at this year's Husker team and the free fall that's happened under Billy C and remember the best advice Tony Soprano ever gave his kids: Focus on the good times.

To better days, and better picks, and a shitload of dimes:
  1. Texas (-21) over Nebraska. That's right, it's gotten so bad that Texas is a three touchdown favorite against the Corn. Speaking of good times, it's becoming more and more obvious that Billy C is going to go Mike Gundy during one of his press conferences. Some of his best lines this week: "I’ve done an excellent job in every area. It’s hard for the media to know, but what we’ve done off the field, and what we’ve done on the field. I think it’s well-documented...." Boy, it sure is now, isn't it Billy Boy? The big focus now is one how all of these 4 and 5 star recruits, in particular Jonas Gray, are jumping off like rats on the Titanic. Billy C also went on about how impressive it was that NU played for a "championship" in year 3. Yeah, he won the Big 12 during a very down year, which is like being the tallest midget. Which of course is what Callahan really is. It was a weird press conference, and just confirmed what a sales robot Callahan is when the red lights are on. How on earth can this guy have that team even remotely unified? He needs to go absolutely nuts in one of these Tuesday morning press conferences. He's already public enemy #1, I think it'd be a great thing for him to really let loose on one of the scribes. Don't go Denny Green ("The Bears are who we THOUGHT they were!") or Herm Edwards ("You play TO WIN THE GAME!"). No no. Take a page from Gundy's playbook. Find one writer or sportscaster and just attach the living shit of him or her. Verbally abuse someone who took one or two of the players to task. Hell, make fun of Tom Shatel's stuttering problem. Get some youtube moment and ESPN coverage. Come on man, you're done at the end of the year anyway. See if going medieval on the Steve Sipple's of the world can't unify a team that maybe next week could give KU it's first loss. As Isiah Thomas would say, "It's crazy enough, it just might work." But that's beside the point. Texas will be the ones going medieval tomorrow.
  2. Georgia (+7.5) over Florida. As Yogi Berra would say, you can look it up: Georgia for whatever reason finds a way to win or at the very least play close on the road.
  3. Maryland (+3.5) over Clemson. It's a hunch, maybe it's those new Boomer Essiason commercials.
  4. Kansas (-3) over Texas A&M. Vega$ knows what it's doing. Many people think this is a game KU could win or lose by a field goal. Many people don't give the real Mangenious enough credit. It would be just like the Big 12 or hell the 2007 college football season in general to have the Jayhwaks finally fall from the unbeaten. But this is not a team that's going to overlook the Aggies even with Callahan's Crew coming to Lawrence next week. Sure it's at A&M, and they're coming off that big win in Lincoln (well, any other year and it'd be considered big). But Kansas plays well on the road, and they want even more BCS style points. I know Mangenious has a lot on his plate, like whether or not he wants to eat that third ham sandwich. I like KU by at least a touchdown.
  5. Hawaii (-30) over New Mexico State. Thirty points is an awful lot of points, but Hawaii is AVERAGING a helluva lot more than that per game. In other words, if Hawaii's offense got a shot at Super Grover's defense, there's a good chance they could put up 80 points on them. And New Mexico State might be one of the few times with a worse defense than Nebraska.
    (I just figured out what Callahan should do at next Tuesday's press conference: Attack that English major student about that book where Billy C allegedly calls TO a crusty old fuck. But he's got to get angry about it. Don't be so calm and say how much respect you have for Osborne. Really lay into the kid. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming already in progress)
  6. Penn State (+4) over Ohio State. It's a night game at Happy Valley, which always gives the Nittany Lions an edge. Plus, even though they are for now the #1 team in the country, Ohio State just isn't THAT good.
  7. Michigan (-23) over Minnesota. Remember how the Wolverines started the season with what was at the time called the biggest upset of all-time in any sport? And then they got whacked at home the next week? Now, they're back in business with a legitimate Heisman candidate and unlike Coach Callahan, Lloyd Carr has righted his ship.
  8. Red Sox over Rockies in 6 games. Because Red Sox fans need to get a hint of worry back. Because this whole killing the curse thing really started with Curt Schilling, and love him or hate him, it's only suitable that he gets the win at Fenway in Game 6, where Papa can go back to being DH. In other words, the Rockies win the next two games, Josh Beckett stops the bleeding in game 5, and Boston gets what it REALLY wants anyway: A chance to celebrate at Fenway Park (remember, they swept St. Louis in 2004, and even though all of New England erupted with the title, everyone really wanted a chance to dance at Fenway).
  9. Jacksonville (+3.5) over Tampa Bay. Well lookie here, an NFL pick! Why this game? For one, if I had to pick one team that could beat that New England machine, it would be the Jaguars. Secondly, they hold on to the football and milk the clock better than anyone. And finally, the AFC is so much better than the NFC that a team like the Jaguars -- who you'll notice are GETTING points -- should have an easy way with things on Sunday. That's just who they are, and if I were picking a lock, it'd be this game. Remember, we rarely if ever pick an NFL game. Vega$ will never stop building hotels because of the NFL. They've got that league figured out, always have, always will. Be every once in while, they'll be imperfect. This is one of those times.

Last week: 3-3
Season: 29-19


TravisRoastBeef said...

Pete Carrol's USC does not play Tennesee this week, although they are an underdog at Oregon. Steve Spurrior's USC play's Tennesee.

Dirtylaundry said...

Oops, noted and fixed.