Saturday, September 01, 2007

Game 1: Nebraska 52, Nevada 10

(EDITOR'S NOTE: One of our contributors has been referring to this site as "the shit site", so we're more inspired than usual.)

I can't imagine how many times Pat Summerall was sitting at home, staring at his wife during the game and said, "He'd rather be Lucky than Good" about Marlon Lucky. I'm sure Summerall's wife wished he'd start drinking again. I'm sure Pat himself feels the same way. But screw him, he got his liver transplant, my dad didn't. And my dad would have never repeated the line "Better to be Lucky than good" every time Marlon Lucky touched the ball. Either way, big day for Marlon Lucky. I'm a fan of anyone who wears the #5, and I knew there was magic when Lucky chose to change from #20 (which should be retired by the way) to #5. I'm expecting big things from Lucky, as finally it looks like Billy C has confidence in one running back.

No need to look at any stats, but the thinking here is that Sam Keller's going to be a really fucking good quarterback. I can't even count how many bread basket balls that were dropped. Plus, as Dan Fouts pointed out, this is the first Husker QB who commands a huddle since Tommie Frazier. Now if he'd just lose that damn visor. I'm sure nobody's going to be happier to see Maurice Purify next week than Keller, because Terrence Nunn just can't get away from the fact that he's Terrence Nunn.

So what's there to bitch about really? OK, I really wanted to hang 60 on Nevada, something Billy C has yet to do and TO would do routinely in these early non-conference games. No big deal, I'm just pointing it out.

Dan Fouts also wants everyone to know there has yet to be a kick-off return for a touchdown in the Callahan era at NU. Fouts would also like to spoon tonight with Husker kicker Alex Henery, who ironically enough is wearing #20. Which means it's time for the annual rant. Retire #'s 7, 20, and 30 immediately for the three Heisman winners. Throw in Frazier's 15 if you want. You STILL have enough jerseys around for everyone to have their own number. But Johnny Rodgers old number is being worn by a kicker? Granted, it's worn by a kicker Dan Fouts would like to make sweet love to, but still. Just be sure if you're in downtown Lincoln tonight and some old bearded guy asks you where Alex Henery lives, you just run and hide.

I knew it would be fun from the opening moments, when Billy C tried to jump up and touch the sign during the tunnel walk. He looked like George Costanza trying to prove he could jump higher in those new shoes he wanted to impress Jimmy with.

The ESPN -- oops, ABC crew, had Tom Osborne introduce the Husker offense and defense. Meanwhile, Nevada had some overly excited (and not particularly attractive) cheerleader do the same for her team. You sort of knew then we had a blow out in the making.

Another TV highlight: The interview with Joba Chamberlain's dad, complete with his Yankee hat. Bandwagon fan. My favorite moment was when the old man was asked, "What's it like for your son to be sharing a locker room with Rodriguez, Clemens, Mussina and Pettite?" If Derek Jeter was watching at home, I'm sure he pulled an Elvis and shot the TV to death with a glock. If Joba's dad wanted to have some fun, he would have said, "A-Rod won't talk to my boy because he's native American, he's never even seen Clemens, Mussina gets teased all the time, and Pettite? Well, you know what they say about guys with big noses? Big breathe air strips, because that guy aint everything downstairs if you know what I mean." Who knew old man Chamberlain was an usher at the Stadium? Great, now another thing for me to hate the Yankees even more: A bunch of Huskers jumping on the Bronx Bandwagon because Joba has become some cult hero.

Nobody rushes over to a sideline reporter before halftime like Billy C. I swear he looks at the clock when there's 2 minutes left to go and starts figuring out where the cameras are so he knows where to run. Callahan still can't get over what a big deal the Big Red Breakfast is.

Lucky had 233 yards on the ground today, which is always nice. But I was more impressed when I looked at the Omaha World Herald this morning and saw that last year, Lucky caught 323 balls for 345 yards. Not a great average, but catching 323 passes has to be some sort of record now, doesn't it? Fucking typos.

Today though, 96 snaps on offense, and 70 of them were running plays.

In a non-Husker related issue, ESPN is proclaiming today's Michigan loss as the biggest upset in college football history. As Vincent Vega would say, "That's a bold statement."

Somewhere, Owen Wilson is still in a hospital, probably unable to watch or even care about anything that happened in Lincoln from 2:30pm-6pm. It was a nice opener, maybe even something Owen could hang his hat on. We'll learn a lot more next week. Probably not about Owen Wilson, but about the Corn.

21 comments:

BSmokedTurkey said...

I'll have to research the technical issues that Mac was refering to. I'd hate to have anyone feel like they HAVE to post here, when they'd rather give their sweet comment love to BST. I'd like to think you feel the same way, DL.

Good post. I was satisfied with hanging 50+ on Nevada and the defense holding them to essenially 3 points.

I still resent Cosgrove for stuffing his playbook in his pants, though. I'm petty and small that way, I guess.

BSmokedTurkey said...

Forgot to add that the OWH sucks Satan's hairy bean-bag.

While that should be considered obvious, I still felt the need to underscore it.

Goodnight, you Kings of Maine.

Dirtylaundry said...

If you must quote Michael Caine on this site, please use another movie. "Batman Begins" or even "Deathtrap" would work fine.

Drunken Preppy said...

Veddy Nice Piece. More importantly Dirty Laundry had the following recommends this week:

LSU
USC
Hawaii

All three were winner winner chicken dinner...mebbe you's need to start publishing a Friday Gold Sheet Recommends.

Tom Shatel said...

Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa-Fuck you, sm-sm-sm-sm-sm Smoked Turkey

Travis said...

Yes. We will do this every Friday from here on out (I'll give you a clue,I'm leaning towards Hawaii every weekend).

TravisRoastBeef said...

Nothing about the re-emergence of the option? Hey husker fan's. The alan parson's project is playing at harrah's on the 21'st. Who wants to go wearing our Eric Crouch husker jerzies and go nuts when they play sirius?

Dirtylaundry said...

Can I wear my #29 Scott Baldwin jersey instead? Even wonder why nobody wears 29 anymore? Has ANYONE worn it since Scottie went nuts.

MacStillCan'tLogin said...

Interesting question re: Scotty's jersey #...maybe it's like when Steinbrenner tried on Lou Gehrig's pants on Seinfeld and worried that he'd catch that nerve disease.

Btw, is this the best site ever? (stolen off deadspin) http://www.secpoon.com/

Yoke, I find SmokedTurkey much easier to post links...why don't you straighten up and fly right?

Mac said...

which reminds me, of all the jobs I've had, I'd say up there at the top was taking pictures of the BHS cross country team for the yearbook...inevitably I'd come back w/20 pics of the girls team and 2 out of focus from laughing @ Abariotes huffing like an old man -- S.T., is there any chance the Journal Star needs a freelance photog for girls CC this fall? Giggity Gittity

TravisRoastBeef said...

That is a good link Mac, I also have some practice in the fine art of sneaking pictures of unsuspecting girls, so if you need a partner,,here is some of my handy work..



http://travismidwest.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_archive.html

Dirtylaundry said...

Lesson 101 on how to post (and remember, I had to have Brady show me how to post correctly on his site):
You can post the exact same way as you do at the diner, just choose "other" as your identity and phil in your name, but your comments are at the top instead of the bottom....
OR you could do what Trav/Bsmoked & I have been doing. Login with your username and password and you'll always be in on your name.

Christ, it's like teaching David Potthoff how to play darts.

David Potthoff said...

I have no problems with posting, or buttering Gooch's toast.

BSmokedTurkey said...

I have nothing good to add. I just came by to bask in DL's umbrage at being called a shit site.

"You, sir, are no gentleman!"

Dirtylaundry said...

"I'm no doorknob either."

I actually thought about changing the name of the site to "The Shit Site". Still might. If the Deadspin Gods approve, it could happen this week.

Dirtylaundry said...

Now if I can only get a man called horse over here...

Dirtylaundry said...

OH MAC -- I have "Trees Lounge" by a Hayden on my itunes, and I'd like to email you the mp3, but your server can't accept files that big.

Evidently your server isn't the Suzanne Rogert of servers (bu-dump-bump).

I'd love to email you the tune (and you're right, it's pretty dman good), I may have to post it on here and you can save it that way.

statefairband said...

This probably belongs in the previous thread, but Billy C is apparently getting an extension.

A sweet reward for that victory over our arch-nemesis, Nevada. Well, probably for the recruiting, but that's some weird-ass timing, especially with USC coming up.

notorious DEK said...

Dan Fouts was actually lusting #20 Adi Kunilac... Alex Henery is #90...

but yes... it was reported today that fouts is still in lincoln at the holiday inn... elbow deep in his boy lover's ass...

BSmokedTurkey said...

Meant to ask an ignorant question about Fouts (thanks for that Holiday Inn image, btw). I'm assuming "Brandon Jackson had a TV fall on him" is a dumb-ass analogy for going pro? Help me out sports freaks.

Dirtylaundry said...

OH Bsmoked, Kenny Wilson was the player who had the TV fall on him and permanently injury his leg.

Brandon Jackson, on the other hand, escaped to GREEN-er pastures, as the would be starting running back this year for Jason Jorgensen's Green Bay Packers.

I'd think an LJS employee would know all of this.