Saturday, September 15, 2007

Welcome To Lincoln, Brent Musburger

If you're not at Barry's yet, you're not even trying. BTW, no Keanu Reeves sighting yet, but if you see the fella in the above picture, please let us know.
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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Executive Game: Special "We're Mad As Hell and Not Going to Take It Anymore" Thursday edition

Look at it this way: If you would have stopped reading after last week's first pick, you'd have been 1-0 and watching this week's USC/Husker game on a beautiful Plasma HDTV (as long as you have a way to watch HD without having Cox Cable service; it that's the case, you're fucked and watching like the rest of the commoners). All things said, we went 1-3 (even counting Curb as a loss, because even though the critics are praising the return of the show -- they've seen the first four episodes -- the premier episode of this season just didn't take. Especially up against an entertaining Dallas/Giants game.). On the other hand, the show before Curb on HBO, "Tell Me You Love Me" is addictive as TV comes. It's brutally honest, you won't want to watch it with your love interest whether you're madly in love or on the verge of hating each other. Oh, and it's got sex scenes you rarely see in NC-17 movies. A guy gets jerked off by his wife, and they show the entire thing. It's all on the money stuff about sex between married couples, and it's fucking sensational. I even loved seeing the old woman going down on her equally old husband. What more do I have to do to get you to try this show on for size?

And at least we weren't like Travis Roastbeef and predicted some big Michigan comeback. Boy was that a dead fish he laid on all of us late last week. But the good news is, I've been to the buffet for this week, and I see a lot of things I like. Some tasty things to see if we can't climb out of our rabbit hole. But first, regarding USC...

Somebody ran around the office this week saying, "USC is only a 5 1/2 point favorite over the Huskers! This is gotta be a miss print. Who do we call to bet the house." Yes, it was printed in the Kansas City Star on Wednesday as being 5 1/2, and I was like Steve Martin in The Jerk when he saw that first check he got for $187,000 for inventing the opti-grab.

As usual, Vegas gets it right. They don't continue to build new hotels on misprints int he KC Star. The line is actually USC by 10, which is probably about right. I've been having some visions of the Corn keeping the game close, ala Texas last year, and losing by a touchdown or less. A year ago I saw 56-10 Auburn. But here's why Billy C has the perfect storm going for him...
  • USC isn't the USC of old, or at least not the Carson Palmer/Matt Leinart versions of USC. After getting my inside source on LSU, and looking more at the Trojans, it's so obvious that everyone in the media grabbed the low hanging fruit. USC was such the easy, sexy pick that nobody dared go against them. Everyone looked at them as Tiger Woods and all other teams as the field. They had all of their defense coming back. But they also still have a quarterback who has three first names (never a good sign, and I will not argue that "Booty" is not a first name. Travis has a son named Booty.), and let's not forget, USC lost two games last year, and then got everybody salivating when they beat the holy shit out of a Michigan squad that in hindsight was and still is clearly overrated.
  • Eventually, the clock's gonna strike midnight on this program. Pete Carroll has had one impressive run, and he gets all kinds of credit for being a great 2nd half coach, how his staff figures out everything over halftime. This run can't last forever. Even if he runs the table, I don't see how his team can handle an LSU team that's dripping with future NFL stars. But more importantly, the dynasty days in this new day of college football are going to be very short. It's impressive enough with what Carroll has done this decade. But sooner or later, Tatoo's gonna ask you to leave Fantasy Island.
  • I firmly believe, that going back to January, 2004, when Billy C was introduced as the new sheriff in town, that he and Stevie P pulled out the 2007 calendar, and circled this Saturday's game as extremely critical. And it's all set up as the "turning point" game. As if to say no other game before them really meant all that much, but by the USC game in Lincoln, he'd better have a team that's at least extremely competitive. Remember, Frankie Solich had his fate sealed after getting embarrassed at home in 2003 to Kansas State. Stevie P hates nothing more than getting embarrassed at home. It's bad for business. This is the game they've both been waiting for.
  • The Jekyl and Hyde Coach who Just got a contract extension from the University of Lincoln. He suffered one of the most humiliating losses in school history in year 1, getting pounded 70-10 at Texas Tech. The next year, Tech comes to Lincoln and he almost beats the Red Raiders. He had Texas beat at home last year. Billy C is just a different coach at home, no doubt about it. Which is to say that I'm not expecting him to keep it close to the vest like he did against USC last year.
  • Sam Keller. I don't care if the Corn is losing 21-0, I feel safe with this kid. Does he still make mistakes that bring the Beavis-face cringe to everyone? Yes. But this kid is John Elway in his early days at Denver. Yes, he's going to throw some picks, but he's going to dazzle like that final touchdown at the end of the first half against Wake Forrest that more or less decided the game. You want an Elway for a game like this, for a team like this. What I'm saying is, if there was a 1st and 98 situation like "The Drive" in 1987 in that Cleveland playoff game, I'd be perfectly calm with Keller under center. Even if that bastard insists on wearing that visor. Somewhere, Steve Spurrier is happy for that look though.
  • The line is 10, not 5 1/2 (if it was actually 5 1/2, the Trojans would be our #1 this week). It's a smart line, which leads us to our final, and most critical reasoning...
  • The fucking kicking game. In the off-season, Billy C's smartest move was finding the absolute strongest and most reliable leg in the nation. He's got a field goal kicker who can hit from anywhere. And now with the new kick-off rules, this guy's hell bent on kicking every single ball through the end zone.

So let's get 1-3 out of mouths and go on to what you'll need to play this weekend, starting tonight kids:

  1. TCU (-8 1/2) against Air Force. This game's tonight, so get in early. TCU is a good team, and you're telling me they're only 8 1/2 points better than fucking AIR FORCE?
  2. Kansas (-23) against Toledo, at Lawrence. Here's something nobody's talking about. There's a big point shaving scandal involving Toledo that has really rocked the core of their football team. They might not even be able to bring enough players to Lawrence. Plus, KU coach Mangino is big enough to find a way to roll up 80 points in this game just because he's that fucking nuts. He might even leave his starters in with the score 50-3. I love this game more than anything else this weekend (except for when we get to something called the EMMYS....)
  3. Virginia (+3) against North Carolina. Is everyone now aware that Joe Dailey is no longer the starting quarterback at North Carolina? Not that any of that matters, but I think Virginia's only GETTING points because Dailey's not involved. Pretty please, with sugar on top, take fucking Virginia.
  4. Hawaii (-17) at UNLV. I'm sure everyone is now vastly aware of how incredible Hawaii's quarterback is. He's more accurate than the Doppler Radar System. Last week, a game they had to win in overtime, was this team's wake-up call.
  5. LSU (-40) against Middle Tennesse State. That's a lot of points, of course, but understand that even when LSU puts in their 2nd and 3rd stringers, those boys are better than some of the better teams in the nation. LSU looks a lot more loaded than USC. They've got a Reggie Busch/Leinart era USC about them. It can't quit LSU.
  6. Colorado (+4 1/2) against Florida State. Not a misprint. First of all, is everyone aware at how Bobby Knight-esque this CU coach is? It wouldn't surprise me if he decided to coach this game dressed up as Little Bo Peep. But more importantly, Bobby Bowden looks like Bob Hope in his final years. I'm not even sure if Bowden knows where he's at most of the time. In fact, I'm not so sure Bowden's still alive and his assistants aren't just hanging him around like the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's. And to make matters worse, without Bowden's leadership, the inmates are running the asylum. Meaning, there are a bunch of assistant coaches trying to grab the brass ring. Lots of sloppy play, penalties, and oh by the way they're going to Boulder. The Bowden death watch is officially on.
  7. BYU (-7) at Tulsa. I've learned my lesson regarding Tulsa. BYU should win this game 42-17, but then again, I should have tried harder to have sex Cindy Crawford.
  8. NU (+10) against USC. I still think the Trojans win, but it'll be by something like a touchdown rather than the blowout I originally anticipated. I was so keeping away from this, but unlike Billy C, I learn from history. On year ago, I would have never thought of picking this game this way.
  9. Chiefs (+13) at Chicago. Insider tip of the week, and I'm STILL taking the Chefs: "That team's (Chiefs) GM and Coach are not on the same page AT ALL!" Yes, it could be an ugly season for the Chefs, but nothing's going to be as ugly as this game, in the rain, in Chicago. Hell, I figure the OVERS were at 13. The Bears could win something like 2-0.
  10. EMMYS: OK, for the first one I'm going to make you do some research and click on this link to read why this number one is an absolute lock. I thought so going in, but this just confirmed it. Finally, here's your Emmy cheat sheet. Who knew that in all the acting categories, the performer submits just ONE episode? You get nominated based on that one episode along, and then you WIN based on the single episode. So after looking at this of who go nominated and for what "episodes", that helps narrow down the field. All you need to do is put forth the performance of a lifetime in one fucking episode, and that determines who wins? No wonder people are all over the Emmys. Maybe you've seen most of these episodes, maybe not. But the one that our number 1 lock turned in assures he's walking home with new hardware on Sunday night. Again, we won't pick everything, just the one's we think are locks. So head to Vegas, because they let you wager on these sorts of things.
  • Best Drama Actor, James Gandolfini
  • Best Drama Supporting Actor, Michael Imperriolli
  • Best Drama Supporting Actress, Lorraine Bracco
  • Best Comedy Series, 30 Rock
  • Best Comedy Actor, Alec Baldwin
  • Best Comedy Supporting Actor, Kevin Dillon
  • Best Drama, Sopranos

By that point in the weekend, we'll probably have to send a thank you card to the makers of xanax. As always, remember, that Makers Mark Whiskey aint gonna drink itself.

LAST WEEK: 1-3
SEASON: 1-3


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Monday, September 10, 2007

John Cusack: "I've Only Made 10 Good Movies."

John Cusack has made news lately, saying that of the 50+ films he's done that only ten of them are good, mentioning Being John Malkovich and Grosse Pointe Blank as two of the ten gems. Let's see if we can come up with 8 more without cheating at imdb.com. In no particular order:
  1. High Fidelity (maybe his best)
  2. The Grifters
  3. Eight Men Out (one of the Top 5 baseball movies ever)
  4. Say Anything...
  5. The Thin Red Line

Ok, he might be right, I'm struggling with 2 more.

6. The Sure Thing
7. Sixteen Candles (although I'd hardly call it a John Cusack movie)
8. Bullets Over Broadway (and I had to cheat and look that one up)

So perhaps Cusack is right. Am I missing anything?

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Saturday, September 08, 2007

Game 2: Nebraska 20, Wake Forest 17 (Tribute to Billy C's Old Boss: Just Win, Baby)

What we really learned from this game:
  • Groves Stadium (where the Demon Deacon's call home) seats a whopping 31,500. It's the smallest venue the Corn has played in since 1971 (the smart money was on a scrimmage I.M. Hipp threw in Billy Barty's back yard in the late 70's, thank God we didn't pick that in the Executive Game).
  • "Everyone in Nebraska is related to a Ruud, has a cousin named Gilbert Arenas, or is somehow related to Ahman Green." This according to our play-by-play man Dave Pasch. I don't get it either, but he sure as shit said it, I even had to rewind during the commercial for Jodie Foster's new movie to make sure I got the quote right.
  • Dave Pasch has one really, REALLY big nose. It's so big they only showed him once during the telecast, and I'm sure Kate Hudson will look to date Pasch soon.
  • The best way to describe Pasch's nose is from Richie Aprile, talking about Chirstopher Moltisanti: "Did you ever notice he's the only motherfucker who can smoke a cigarette in the rain with his hands tied behind his back? That nose is like a natural canopy."
  • The ABC/ESPN games now feature some player from each team to introduce the offense and defense. I'm just going to float this idea out here right now as a way to boost interest: Can we just get Al Cowlings to introduce everybody on both sides of the ball, for both teams next week? I'm sure nobody will be offended by this. I don't even think the Goldman or Brown families have a grudge against AC. You never shoot (or cut up) the messenger. An Al Cowings TV appearance will create a huge buzz, since the likes of an Appalachian State upset happening every week appears unlikely.
  • Lloyd Carr is still knee deep in gin.
  • Since insurance won't pay for these type of things, Billy C celebrated coming into some money but buying the same glasses Stallone used to wear to look smarter...
  • ...but he for whatever reason took them off when it was time for Erin Andrews to interview him at the end of the first half. In fact, I think Callahan missed Sam Keller's great 25 yard touchdown pass to give the Corn the lead right before halftime because he was so busy trying to find Andrews. I'm sure Billy C got very worried when he heard that Andrews was interviewing somebody from the Wake Forest basketball staff in the first half.
  • Song Callahan listens to in his headset right before kick-off: "Sex as a Weapon" by Pat Benatar. His song selection when it's 4th and short with less than than two minutes to play and it's so painfully obvious you should punt the ball away to pin the opponent back and put a lid on a road win: "It Don't Matter To Me", sung by David Gates and Bread. The song is like audio xanax for Billy C. Who knew? My cousin Gilbert Arenas gave me the inside scoop on this.
  • I'd like to hear a story about how Callahan went over to Kevin Cosgrove before going for it on that 4th and short and said, "Let's see that big playbook coming out of your pants stop this offense now fuckface!"
  • I thought Callahan was such the history buff. Did he learn nothing from the Cotton Bowl, when he pulled the same shit against Auburn? It worked out OK here, of course, but had Wake Forest even come back and tied the game, Billy C would have been putting his home for sale.
  • Here's something fun to look forward to when you have Andre Ware is your color guy for a game. He has an Andre "Hard" Ware segment to go with an Andre "Soft" Ware segment. The good folks at Spyware evidently passed on a sponsorship opportunity.
  • A good sign: Marlon Lucky gets better as the game goes on, something we really haven't seen since our cousin/uncle Ahman Green ran for the Huskers. Lucky keeps this up, there's a good chance the Corn will have a decent bowl game that Pat Summerall won't have to announce.
  • Another little thing the gambling community might want to know about before kick-off: We had the Big 12 officiating crew at this game, and a few questionable calls went the Huskers way. Not that it would have mattered, but still, it would have been nice to know.
  • Terrence Nunn actually becomes a receiver on the road. Six catches, 83 yards. He even caught all the balls that were right on the money.
  • I like this Sam Keller. A lot. He's got a charismatic cockiness about him we haven't seen around these parts in ages. You know, the kind of thing Eric Crouch didn't have.
  • Something we're just going to have to get used to during every Husker game that's televised this season: A segment on the Arizona State-to-Nebraska history of Sam Keller. Trust me, next week, Brent Musburger is going to act like he's the first person to ever tell the colorful story of Keller before the end of the first quarter against USC.
  • Every road game televised will also feature at least five shots of some Husker fans wearing a Corn Cob head with an announcer saying, "Nebraska fans travel about as well as any in the country." Hell, this week, they found some clown amongst the 31,000 with an AUTOGRAPHED Corn Cob hat. Which means somebody doesn't wash their Corn Cob hat, which is just wrong.
  • Nebraska is now 2-0 after getting a good road test. If the Billy C era has taught us anything (and yes, it's now officially defined as an "era"), it's that Husker fans should be happy with any win.
  • Andre Kitchen Ware couldn't answer the AFLAC Trivia Question (Who Was the Only Nebraska Player to win the Butkus Award?), but he did drop Turner Gill and Mike Rozier References.
  • The answer to the AFLAC trivia question is one Trev Alberts. You know, Ahman's Green older brother.
  • Oh yeah, the Huskers have some big game at home next week. And much to the delight of the Nebraska football coach who signed a big contract extension this week, I have no idea what to expect. He's a completely different coach on the road. The real thinking here is that since USC had an open date this week, Billy C and the boys didn't want to show them too much as they prepare to hit Lincoln.
  • This was the ultimate "trap" game. Even if it was in a stadium more suited for a Division III game, the Huskers get to fly home with the peace of mind that comes with being 2-0. As Ron Jeremy would say on the set of an 80's porn flick, Bring on the Trojans!
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Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Executive Game: Money Shows Your True Colors*

*And not in a Cyndi Lauper sort of way
SPECIAL THURSDAY EDITION

The Executive Game is something we're going to play here every Friday, as per the wishes of one Mackenzie and the chagrin of Kevin Bonny (Honestly, I never thought I'd type that name again in my life, let alone put it in a blog. I'm not even sure I spelled his name right, but man if he googles his name....well, you'd never have to worry about meeting up with him at any HS reunions because HE NEVER GRADUATED!). Here are the rules:

  • We'll only pick things that we're confident will happen over the weekend (college football mostly, but a slam dunk LOCK next week in the Emmys, the day Dick Cavett or Emmanuel Lewis will die).

  • We'll shy away from the NFL unless there's something really luscious, like last year when Peyton Manning was getting points to win at Denver. RARELY will there be an NFL pick, so if you see one here, I'd jump all freaking over that shit. The NFL is too unpredictable and frankly Vegas does plenty of homework on these teams that making any money off the league is impossible.

  • To clarify a rumor, I didn't pick Michigan to LOSE last week, I just picked them to not cover, making me some sort of genius for one day anyway.

  • We don't need to offer justification for every pick. We might from time to time, but that's just how the EG rolls.
  • The Executive Game will have a new picture every week for your viewing pleasure, so even if you don't play, you'll want to go out of your way to see our photos.
  • That Makers Mark sitting on your bottom shelf isn't just going to drink itself now, is it?

Our theme this week (which was previously how you can't trust fat coach vs. old coach): How financially security will affect some folks, in particular one Billy Callahan and a subdued Larry Johnson. One is in the NFL, and the other thinks he still is. So you'd think that since both of these fellas just inked some nice guaranteed money and I'm not sure how it's gonna affect either of them, I'd stay away from their games.

The problem with the Huskers last year on the road: They always, even in that bowl game, opened up big time and aggressive and scored, and then played all conservative for the remainder of the game so they could never blow anyone out away from Lincoln. So that could happen again with Billy C, I just don't know how he's gonna be since he's the cock of the walk with that extension. Plus he might play too close to the vest with USC on deck for next weekend.

EXECUTIVE GAME PICKS, WEEKEND SEPT 8

  1. LSU (-13) over Virginia Tech. From a former LSU player I had lunch with two weeks ago: "I wish I was still playing there, because that's the best team I've ever seen." And that was the most insightful thing he had to offer. The "take it easy on Va Tech" card went away after their emotional home opener.
  2. Hawaii (-28) over Louisiana Tech. I may just run the table and take Hawaii every week. Deal with it.
  3. Auburn (-7) over S. Florida. Auburn's pissed off about not blowing away K-State last week. Lots of style points come from the boys this time around.
  4. NFL: Kansas City (+3) over Houston. Why an NFL game here? This is maybe the most unsexy game on the schedule, but it's so tempting with those 3 points going the Chefs way(never mind the fact the Chefs have a rookie kicker who's already lost his confidence and barely makes half his kicks -- see, I told you Vegas knows right where to put those odds). I love the fact that they've got a stud running back who got to miss all of training camp and almost all of the pre-season (LJ) who, despite getting that guaranteed money he whined about, will still find some way to run with a chip on his shoulder (the fact that Priest Holmes is still around should be plenty incentive, even if he won't play for six weeks). And Houston is still Houston. Why is everyone in love with a quarterback named Matt Schaub?
  5. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (pick 'em) over the Sunday Night NBC Football game. We've been without Larry David in our lives for almost 2 years. I finally got into "Flight of the Concords". It's funny, it has it's moments, but it's just visiting this planet. A new season of Curb is a great way to end the Executive Game.
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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

He Might Be Billy C, But He's OUR Billy C, Through 2012

College Football Coaches contracts really aren't worth the paper they're printed on anymore, but what timing for Nebraska to announce that they'd like to keep their short little football coach around until January, 2012. I can't imagine how many Margaritas Frank Solich is going to throw down after reading this news.

Two other things to remember (and I'm just pointing these out):
  1. Notre Dame gave Charlie Weiss a long-term extension awfully fast (and frankly, I applaud NU for waiting to do this after a few years with Billy C. I mean, it wasn't like they were going to extend his deal after the Corn went 5-6 in 2004.), and I'm guessing right now they're thinking ol' Charlie aint putting the NASTY back in Dynasty anytime soon. Financially and stability wise, this is a good deal for NU and Billy C. Oh sure, if NU somehow beats USC and the Huskers get a BSC bowl, Callahan could become hot property and go Nick Saban. But from where Callahan's career was following that debacle in Oakland, I'm sure he couldn't ink this extension fast enough.
  2. This is now officially Husker post 66 on our little blog. I tried to make it post #666, but the blogspot people would have none of it.
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Alright, Alright, Alright: A List Worth Looking Into

Alright, alright, alright. Somebody finally put together a very good list of the all-time top-10 high school movies (with two glaring omissions, which I'll get to below). It got all of the usual suspects (Dazed and Confused, Rebel Without A Cause, Fast Times at Ridgemont High), as well as a very big surprise in My Bodyguard , a movie I remember watching on cable as a kid and thought I was the only person who ever saw it and actually liked it. Of course, I also thought the guy who played the bodyguard (Adam Baldwin) was Vincent D'Onofrio, and that just made me more freaked out when I saw Full Metal Jacket for the first time.

But there are two movies I have no idea how they missed:
  1. American Graffiti: I started reading the list from 10 down, and I figured that this one would certainly be ranked #1. It's NOWHERE ON THE LIST! How is this possible? I love Rushmore as much as anyone, but does that movie really exemplify how one felt in high school? Not like American Graffiti does. The premise is simple: It's the last day before Curt Henderson (Richard Dreyfuss) flies away to college. The rest of his friends know it's their last day of freedom too, and things will never be the same after Dreyfuss gets on that plane. No other film comes close to matching the last summer before going off to college like Graffiti. It's set in the early '60's, but it could have worked in any era. How this one isn't in the top 5 is inexcusable. There's no other way around it. Christ, the movie was nominated for Best Picture!
  2. Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Like Graffiti, the entire movie is set in one day, only this time, it's during the school year, as our hero Ferris (Matthew Broderick at his finest) tries to play the ultimate game of hooky. Everyone knows the story, he gets his sad-sack loser of a friend Cameron (Alan Ruck) and super hot girlfriend Sloane (Mia Sara, who I haven't seen in a movie since, which is a shame because she still looks gorgeous) to skip school on a picture perfect day in beautiful Chicago. I know John Hughes fans are raising their hands right now also nominating Sixteen Candles (an underrated movie that holds up incredibly well, despite the somewhat racist scenes with Long Duck Dong) and The Breakfast Club (also holds up well, but where else did people go to school to spend 8 hours on a SATURDAY for detention?). Bueller's the winner here, because everyone gets that itch their senior year where they want a day to thumb their nose at everyone and go out and play and be the envy of everyone else stuck in class.
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Saturday, September 01, 2007

Game 1: Nebraska 52, Nevada 10

(EDITOR'S NOTE: One of our contributors has been referring to this site as "the shit site", so we're more inspired than usual.)

I can't imagine how many times Pat Summerall was sitting at home, staring at his wife during the game and said, "He'd rather be Lucky than Good" about Marlon Lucky. I'm sure Summerall's wife wished he'd start drinking again. I'm sure Pat himself feels the same way. But screw him, he got his liver transplant, my dad didn't. And my dad would have never repeated the line "Better to be Lucky than good" every time Marlon Lucky touched the ball. Either way, big day for Marlon Lucky. I'm a fan of anyone who wears the #5, and I knew there was magic when Lucky chose to change from #20 (which should be retired by the way) to #5. I'm expecting big things from Lucky, as finally it looks like Billy C has confidence in one running back.

No need to look at any stats, but the thinking here is that Sam Keller's going to be a really fucking good quarterback. I can't even count how many bread basket balls that were dropped. Plus, as Dan Fouts pointed out, this is the first Husker QB who commands a huddle since Tommie Frazier. Now if he'd just lose that damn visor. I'm sure nobody's going to be happier to see Maurice Purify next week than Keller, because Terrence Nunn just can't get away from the fact that he's Terrence Nunn.

So what's there to bitch about really? OK, I really wanted to hang 60 on Nevada, something Billy C has yet to do and TO would do routinely in these early non-conference games. No big deal, I'm just pointing it out.

Dan Fouts also wants everyone to know there has yet to be a kick-off return for a touchdown in the Callahan era at NU. Fouts would also like to spoon tonight with Husker kicker Alex Henery, who ironically enough is wearing #20. Which means it's time for the annual rant. Retire #'s 7, 20, and 30 immediately for the three Heisman winners. Throw in Frazier's 15 if you want. You STILL have enough jerseys around for everyone to have their own number. But Johnny Rodgers old number is being worn by a kicker? Granted, it's worn by a kicker Dan Fouts would like to make sweet love to, but still. Just be sure if you're in downtown Lincoln tonight and some old bearded guy asks you where Alex Henery lives, you just run and hide.

I knew it would be fun from the opening moments, when Billy C tried to jump up and touch the sign during the tunnel walk. He looked like George Costanza trying to prove he could jump higher in those new shoes he wanted to impress Jimmy with.

The ESPN -- oops, ABC crew, had Tom Osborne introduce the Husker offense and defense. Meanwhile, Nevada had some overly excited (and not particularly attractive) cheerleader do the same for her team. You sort of knew then we had a blow out in the making.

Another TV highlight: The interview with Joba Chamberlain's dad, complete with his Yankee hat. Bandwagon fan. My favorite moment was when the old man was asked, "What's it like for your son to be sharing a locker room with Rodriguez, Clemens, Mussina and Pettite?" If Derek Jeter was watching at home, I'm sure he pulled an Elvis and shot the TV to death with a glock. If Joba's dad wanted to have some fun, he would have said, "A-Rod won't talk to my boy because he's native American, he's never even seen Clemens, Mussina gets teased all the time, and Pettite? Well, you know what they say about guys with big noses? Big breathe air strips, because that guy aint everything downstairs if you know what I mean." Who knew old man Chamberlain was an usher at the Stadium? Great, now another thing for me to hate the Yankees even more: A bunch of Huskers jumping on the Bronx Bandwagon because Joba has become some cult hero.

Nobody rushes over to a sideline reporter before halftime like Billy C. I swear he looks at the clock when there's 2 minutes left to go and starts figuring out where the cameras are so he knows where to run. Callahan still can't get over what a big deal the Big Red Breakfast is.

Lucky had 233 yards on the ground today, which is always nice. But I was more impressed when I looked at the Omaha World Herald this morning and saw that last year, Lucky caught 323 balls for 345 yards. Not a great average, but catching 323 passes has to be some sort of record now, doesn't it? Fucking typos.

Today though, 96 snaps on offense, and 70 of them were running plays.

In a non-Husker related issue, ESPN is proclaiming today's Michigan loss as the biggest upset in college football history. As Vincent Vega would say, "That's a bold statement."

Somewhere, Owen Wilson is still in a hospital, probably unable to watch or even care about anything that happened in Lincoln from 2:30pm-6pm. It was a nice opener, maybe even something Owen could hang his hat on. We'll learn a lot more next week. Probably not about Owen Wilson, but about the Corn. CLICK TO READ ENTIRE POST!